Category Archives: Perspective

The Compounded Grief of Premature Deaths

There are no easy deaths – there are no situations where the grief experience isn’t difficult, complex, and sad. That said, there is a generally accepted threshold where lives are deemed as having been “lived, good and long.” When 90 … Continue reading

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My Favorite Advice About Time

I recently finished a podcast called S-Town that featured the true & tragic story John B. McLemore, an astoundingly brilliant horologist – that is, someone who has studied time. The narrator and John begin to discuss sundials together and I … Continue reading

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Stop Saying, “This happened for a reason.” A De-Bunking of Christian Narratives on Death

Ok, so I am going to get slightly religious in this post – it’s a necessity in this case and it’s no big deal. I try to remain neutral in my writing but I feel this topic calls for a bit … Continue reading

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Stop Saying “Don’t Give Up.” Please.

We say a lot of things to grieving people that under normal circumstances would be fine, hopefully even encouraging, but to people facing a life or death situation, a trauma, shock or loss, these can be the most backward and … Continue reading

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Transforming Painful Days into New Traditions

A Table for 1 on Valentine’s Day Holidays/birthdays/anniversaries … there is always one of these days looming around the corner it seems when we are in the throws of grief. Days that used to hold so much joy and fun and now … Continue reading

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Look & Laugh, but Don’t TALK About Death: Halloween & Death Exposure

Before you think that I am anti-Halloween because of the ideas expressed below, I want to say that Halloween is actually my very favorite holiday. I love the community feeling of the night, of children scampering off in sweet costumes … Continue reading

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“But, it’s been 10 years …” Grieving a Long Ago Loss

 || This month I am sharing a unique experience I had at a grief workshop where a 10 year old loss came flooding back to me in a deeply profound and changing way. I’m excited to share it with you! But, it’s … Continue reading

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Forget About Closure: A New Way to Look at Grief

  The word “closure” is a tricky and usually misused word. Taken from it’s Latin root “clausura,” literally meaning “to close,” the word is often used to signify what we expect or hope people are feeling at the end of a funeral … Continue reading

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How Long Does Grief Last? The Surprising Answer

We all want to know how long something terrible is going to last, knowing gives us a sense of control over the unknown and comforts us with the confident knowledge of an end. But grief is very different. We know that … Continue reading

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Seeing is Believing: The Empty Caskets of 9/11

There’s the age old phrase, “seeing is believing” and for so many of us, it rings true. At O’Connor we’ve seen families testify to this truth over and over, telling us that seeing their loved one at peace helped to bring … Continue reading

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