Category Archives: Perspective

Stop Saying “Don’t Give Up.” Please.

We say a lot of things to grieving people that under normal circumstances would be fine, hopefully even encouraging, but to people facing a life or death situation, a trauma, shock or loss, these can be the most backward and … Continue reading

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Transforming Painful Days into New Traditions

A Table for 1 on Valentine’s Day Holidays/birthdays/anniversaries … there is always one of these days looming around the corner it seems when we are in the throws of grief. Days that used to hold so much joy and fun and now … Continue reading

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Look & Laugh, but Don’t TALK About Death: Halloween & Death Exposure

Before you think that I am anti-Halloween because of the ideas expressed below, I want to say that Halloween is actually my very favorite holiday. I love the community feeling of the night, of children scampering off in sweet costumes … Continue reading

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“But, it’s been 10 years …” Grieving a Long Ago Loss

 || This month I am sharing a unique experience I had at a grief workshop where a 10 year old loss came flooding back to me in a deeply profound and changing way. I’m excited to share it with you! But, it’s … Continue reading

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Forget About Closure: A New Way to Look at Grief

  The word “closure” is a tricky and usually misused word. Taken from it’s Latin root “clausura,” literally meaning “to close,” the word is often used to signify what we expect or hope people are feeling at the end of a funeral … Continue reading

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How Long Does Grief Last? The Surprising Answer

We all want to know how long something terrible is going to last, knowing gives us a sense of control over the unknown and comforts us with the confident knowledge of an end. But grief is very different. We know that … Continue reading

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Seeing is Believing: The Empty Caskets of 9/11

There’s the age old phrase, “seeing is believing” and for so many of us, it rings true. At O’Connor we’ve seen families testify to this truth over and over, telling us that seeing their loved one at peace helped to bring … Continue reading

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Mother’s Day Without Mom

Mother’s Day without Mom, it changes everything. What do you do? How do you “celebrate” the day? It is my mom’s first Mother’s Day without her mom. None of the usual, sweet birthday cards came from my grandma last month … Continue reading

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There was Glitter in Her Hair When Grandma Died: The Construction of a Death Story

I was speeding by cars on the freeway driving like a maniac; my mom needed me at the hospital. My grandma had just been admitted, maybe had a heart attack – no one knew – but my mom had simply … Continue reading

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Grieving Non-Death Losses

Last year I attended a conference where the topic of a panel was the significance of grief connected to non-death losses. The researchers focused their sites on college campuses and found that many students were ranking break-ups, friendship changes, divorces … Continue reading

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